#23

This is my worship, This is my offering, In every moment, I withhold nothing, I'm learning to trust You, Even when I can't see it, And even in suffering, I have to believe it ~Michael Ketterer

Photographer: Tumi Yusuf

It’s funny, out of all the posts of I have written on this blog, truthfully speaking this post has been the one hardest to write. I’ve spent the last two months, making drafts and giving up in frustration or taking extended breaks because every draft ends with the same question, “what are you trying to say?” Unfortunately, as I sit on my computer typing these words, I still have no answer. This could be for a couple of reasons, the main being that my recent birthday this year was something that I honestly didn’t feel like celebrating. Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond grateful to be a year older, I will never take for granted how blessed I am beyond what I could properly articulate. This birthday was just different.

At first, I thought it was because I left home for the second time in my life and moved to Australia. A decision that didn’t reconcile the reality of my next chapter in my story with the fantasy of it. Or maybe it was because I was used to having my comforts around me, especially my constants like my family, and the readjustment without their physical presence wasn’t smooth at first.

As a recent 23-year-old, what I can say is that this year for me is different. Sick of that word yet? Cause I am, but unfortunately at the same time there are no other words that could properly and accurately articulate this chapter of my life. I’ve learnt more about myself in the past 5 months, that I have in three years. Another ridiculously cheesy line, and I confess I used to be one of those people who would roll my eyes at the people who say that (still am sometimes), but also accurate and precise.

I am grateful for this chapter because its seasons like this that sets the ground for a future outlook. I say that not just in regard to my future career, but in terms of my development as a person. As far as I am concerned, I have never worked as hard as I have in these past months than I have in my entire life and the harder I work the more I come to terms with limitations that I cannot meet except if I give those limitations over to the One who sent me here.

Being here in Australia has left me with a lot of pinch me moments and I hate to disappoint some of you, but they have mostly been school related. From the pure joy I feel when I finally understand Anatomy, to recalling where the valves of the heart are located for a cardiology examination, or spending a Monday night suturing, it has truly been a lit school year thus far. For the first time in a while I got to travel for my birthday, spent time in beautiful Tasmania and it was worth every cent I spent over my budget! This particular shoot was at the Museum of Old and New Art (MONA) in Hobart. Looking back at these pictures, I do question my outfit choice, but shout out to my wonderful photographer for standing out in the cold with me and making it work!

Until next time,

IdyC.